[Scene: The A train to Brooklyn, Christmas Eve]
Panhandler #1 (male, caucasian near side exit): Can anyone spare a dime, nickle, quarter? If you have food, any left overs, or sandwich would be cheerfully accepted.
Panhandler #2 (stocky female caucasian, dressed for the cold, jumping from handicap seat): Sandwich, I want sandwich!
#1: Huh?
#2: Sandwich, I want sandwich!
#1: No, I don’t have any food, I want food.
#2: Sandwich!
#1: Here, you can have the change that I got.
[#2 waves off the money. #1 walks off to the other end of the car, shaking his head. #2 sits back down]
Panhandler #3 [black, boarding train as #1 leaves]: Ladies and gentlemen, good evening, I’m collecting donations to help feed the homeless… If you have food, put your money away and give the food to me. I’ll see you tomorrow morning, and do me a favor, my little sister Lisa is in the next car — look out for her.
#2 [jumping to her feet]: I want food! I want food!
#3 [shocked that someone would actually take him up on the food]: OK, I’ll come back for you.
[#2 keeps standing at the door. #3 goes the length of the car collecting money and food and gets off at the next stop. #2 goes out her door following him.]
You can’t make this stuff up.