Imagine my utter surprise during TV surfing to come across this series. First couple was a Chinese guy and a blond gal from Massachussetts. Would not have ever expected this pairing on TV. So for those out there on this issue (still aways)… heh. Second couple were both Vietnamese, groom was partially blind and the bride was a lawyer. They were local to me, San Jose CA. It was very cool.
=YC
In preparing for my own upcoming nuptials, I’ve learned a lot how critical (pre-)counseling is and everyone should do it. But, not just pre-marital counseling, I think the lessons, questions, process can help people looking for any good, committed relationship. It’ll help immensely in the dating scene – cut down on dating/meeting the wrong person. The counseling is a process of self-discovery which will help any one focus on the right things in a person and in the relationship.
So often I listen to friends (men and women, my peer group as well as older singles) who talk in frustration about how lacking their personal lives are. It ranges from anger to resignation and depression with confusion the common theme through it all. Much of the time, the crux of the problems stems from unreasonable expectations of men and women and society’s reinforcement that “going it alone” (aka self-sufficiency) is a desirable goal. In the relationship arena, however, this message is disastrous for people because they end up flailing about pursuing the unattainable and the undesirable. Given that we are social beings and coupling is a natural biological desire and need, “being strong and independent” is a value that causes immense angst. It will eventually lead to a destructive end. In my dilapidated apartment complex in the West Village, I got to see first hand what being single and old meant. I also happened to work for one such person as well, one of the most miserable person I have ever met. It’s sad. These are eye awakening experiences which most people don’t ever encounter. People think they’ve got time. No, time is very unforgiving.
With my own pre-marital counseling, because my fiancee and I need to do it long distance (just call me King of LDRs), the entire process will probably take about 30-40 hours. It’s time well spent. In my own cynical nature, I’ve insisted that couples contemplating marriage should spend a week through the NYC Supreme and Family Court to get a feel for the pain and suffering that will happen after a “wrong” choice is made and you try to correct it legally. After such a program, I suspect most couples would not be so eager if not have their eyes wide open. Better yet, they should go in having talked about the “non-romantic” stuff so that there aren’t any misconceptions or unreasonable expectations going in.
Anyways, better end my rant here. See : Discovery Health: Love & Relationships Index for more information. For those seeking a religious overview, check out “Preparing for Marriage” by Dennis Rainey.
=YC
Heh, first time I’ve ever seen someone comment on their own posting. But I think you’re right.
Thanks FC.
Introspection, know thyself is a personal commandment of mine. I heartily encourage people to do that about themselves. Only by knowing your strengths and weakness are you able to successfully navigate through life. There’s another site (not free) called Emode (http://www.emode.com/) which has a battery of tests you can take on Job, Personal, Relationships. It’s worth the $10 to take them and find out who/what/why of yourself.
=YC