Missed your “Simple Saturday” posting SSW :o. I love alliterations.
Looks like a really cold spell in NYC again. I must say that winter this year all over the world (i.e. California, Taiwan, Malaysia, NY/NJ) has just been bizarre. I wonder what that means by way of global warming.
Hmmmm…
=YC
So while a lot of my Malaysia trip was loads of fun, I didn’t speak of the “horrors” of doing business there. This one experience sort of typifies the infrastructure limitations of Malaysia and how sometimes I wonder how it would ever drag itself into the modern world. Right now, it’s just a step above Philippines and Indonesia and Thailand but only because those places are just so backwards. Vietnam don’t know much about but they can’t help where they are; they can blame the US for bombing them back to the stone age during the war.
So the situation is this. I needed to receive a faxed copy of my I-130 petition from my lawyer. What should’ve taken 30 minutes turned into a 4 hour morning and early afternoon ordeal. I use jfax so that I could download it anywhere in the world and print it out. Theory is great and works fine in the US… but then there’s the Malaysia experience. Because B- stays in the Cheras neighborhood of KL, we had to find a local i-cafe. We did but it was so slow and we couldn’t actually view it or print it out. Firstly, all the internet cafe’s have pretty much disabled any pict viewers, I guess to protect against porn surfing. So there was nothing on the i-cafe machines that could read a .TIFF file. Doh. Secondly, if if I could find a viewer that could read it, I couldn’t print because internet cafe’s usually don’t have printers. Their machines are just gaming stations, who needs to print? Ipoh was slightly better. B- lives near Coffeenet which is a nice i-cafe. Just they don’t have microphones but lots of sound.
So, we’re running around in downtown KL itself, talking with the lawyer. Now, this itself was a difficulty. My lawyer couldn’t call through to our cell phones which I know exists because when I use a calling card to call Bridget from the US, I sometimes can’t get through too. The solution, buy a Malaysia calling card and call the lawyer. Simple right? Nope, not really. We bought a Flexicard from Digi Malaysia. Well, we couldn’t use that card to dial either from the public phones or the one phone we found at an i-cafe in KL near the bus station, Puduraya. Finally, getting desperate because we needed to get this out, we called on B-‘s friend who happens to work in a big company. Being the Deputy General Manager, he would have the stuff for us to print out. So yup, we gave up, called him and ended up printing out everything in his office, after 3 hours of running around town.
=YC
I’m here in front of Amy’s Bread in Chelsea Market. We were surfing using the in-house wireless network while sitting on a stone bench in front of the bakery when whey just wheeled out a whole rack of free bread! You should have seen the mob swarm up! P– ran up and got us two bags, but she came out of there all covered in flour. Just so you know — 6:30 pm when they close.
Compare and contrast: Alessandra Stanley (critiquing the cable movie about the American pollsters/political campaigners working for Boris Yeltsin’s re-election campaign) and Virginia Heffernan (critiquing the mid-season series “Wonderfalls” – about a young woman who listens to inanimate objects telling her to do good deeds – a “Joan of Arcardia” without God). Two tv critics – now part of the same newspaper (Heffernan was the ex-Slate.com tv critic) – I’ve been more partial to Heffernan, because Heffernan feels like someone who likes tv even if the show she’s watching sucks. But, Heffernan’s comments about the US version of “Touching Evil” (on the bottom of the article on “Wonderfalls”) seems a little too caustic for me (then again, as I said in a prior blog entry, I didn’t think too badly of the original British “Touching Evil”).
I’m almost finished with reading Peter David’s “Stone and Anvil” (the latest Star Trek: New Frontier book); I’ll be making my comments on that in a future blog entry.
I can not tell anymore …. A few weeks ago, there was a partial rant on the topic from an oblique angle. The whole Howard Dean and Dr. Steinberg touched it off I believe. Anyways, I think the Titanic and Dean’s campaign were remarkably similar in how fast they sunk.
But I digress…. A J kindly forwarded this website to me and fair warning to all, it’s highly irreverant, insulting, amusing, stereotypical, but definitely entertaining: The honest marriage and relationship advice for men. I had to share this site with B- and she found it shocking, amusing and scary all at once. She did ask me, “Is any of this true”? I flatly said, “Yes.”
My favorites links are:
American women are fucked, they priced themselves out of the market
Fucking decent mid-priced whores twice a week is less expensive than a wife
Marriage means you become a slave to your job
Hilarious quotes:
American women offer up a shit sandwich and then get pissed off when men go elsewhere to eat.
What is the relevance here? You wouldn’t get such an obvious Howard Dean and Dr. Steinberg situation in Asia. That’s nothing to say about what goes on behind the doors, but solidarity and long-term are just so much more the norm in other cultures than in the US when it comes to relationships and to marriage in general.
And this sort of thing goes on in Asia too as a lot more women begin to adopt more Westernized notions of relationships and attitudes. There’s a hierarchy nowadays I’m beginning to detect. Men avoiding the obvious choices like China, Taiwan, Hong Kong, Singapore and looking toward Malaysians, Vietnamese, Thai women. The “headache” of dealing with women who’s sole aim is to marry well and be kept for the rest of their lives is a guy’s nightmare seconded probably by divorce and losing everything.
My education here of the sexes has been fascinating and not sure what to make of it. Need more time to digest it. I’m not suggesting that things are amiss with me and B-, things are really wonderful and still “honeymoonish” but going through counseling and having serious chats has helped. We’re still learning about each other, nothing is perfect, we have good and bad qualities. Looking forward to August 31st.
=YC
(Yeah, I really ought to make better titles for my blog entries).
Slate.com’s Supreme Court watcher Dahlia Lithwick makes some interesting points about the whole Justice Scalia ethics debate (i.e., is it ethical for Scalia to make speeches about certain issues; is it ethical for him to go duck hunting with a certain vice president; etc.). Maybe we are being too hard on Scalia – Blackmun has spoken out on issues, so it’s not like it’s a new thing to hear a judge say something; and do we really want to muzzle the justices from just talking? Don’t we want to know what they think, rather than relying on some weird divining technique? (Imagine: “Ohmigosh, Rehnquist is snapping at the petitioner during oral arguments; that’s a bad sign!” “O’Connor’s twitching her lips; is she smiling? She’s pushing for the appellee; no, wait, I can’t tell!”). And, if what the justices say doesn’t necessarily mean they’re really that closed-minded (i.e., that they can still judge impartially), why not let them do their talking? At the very least, we know that they can’t talk about a pending case. But, the counter-argument is very simply that a justice’s actions or words can still smack of impropriety, even if it doesn’t violate some ethical code on its face. Oh, well; I’ll just have to reserve my final judgment on this issue about the Supreme Court justices for now.
NY Times’ Tom Friedman had a nice take on outsourcing today – that it should be less about America closing itself and more about Americans reviving the American Dream – be innovative, creative, and well, American.
Tonight’s “Survivor” was quite good – I didn’t expect the ending that came about at all. The ending of “The Apprentice” wasn’t surprising – someone had to go, and when the smaller team lost, it seemed all too predictable about who’d go – and I think it says something about how women do in the business world (considering how Trump’s female executive seemed to make quite an assessment of Heidi – and maybe it means that a woman has to beat men to succeed, not just be merely “good”; and consider how Heidi had to deal with the dilemma of balancing her participation in the game and her very real worries about her mother’s illness — I mean really, would a male businessman find himself in a similar dilemma about family versus work? I just don’t know – maybe, maybe not).
Spring training: Mets’ players Karim Garcia and Shane Spencer (those ex-Yankees) are in extenuating circumstances, since the pizza deliveryman – who accused them of beating him up – gave such conflicting versions of the incident to the Florida police. No criminal charges, and there’s a likelihood of no civil action, since the pizza guy allegedly made it too obvious that he wanted to sue (he blew his credibility) and he didn’t seem that injured despite the seriousness of his charges. On the other hand, Garcia and Spencer are embarassed about this – it wasn’t as if they were completely sober during the incident – so, no one comes out of this completely unscathed.
The recent incident of the Vancouver NHL overzealous hockey player, Todd Bertuzzi, whose play broke the neck of Colorado Avalanche’s Steve Moore, reminded me of the McSorley thing (McSorley was the Boston Bruin who used his stick too hard on a Vancouver player in 2000). Apparently, no criminal charges were on McSorley, but the NHL suspended him for a year and thus there is precedence on what to do with Bertuzzi. I remembered the McSorley thing only because it occurred during the same semester I took Torts and the professor raised a McSorley type hypo wherein we wondered – was this a prima facie tort? Probably – assault, battery, etc… I swear, law school changes the way I look at anything, especially when I start issue spotting possible civil cause of actions in sports (putting aside the whole policy questions involving the steroids/human growth hormone problem and criminal law problems in sports).
Actor Paul Winfield recently passed away; he’s an actor whose face would be incredibly familiar to the avid television viewer and to someone whose memory is more expansive than mine and my time (e.g., he played Martin Luther King, Jr., in a 1978 “King” miniseries that WWOR (Channel 9) in the NYC area recently showed it as part of Black History month; as well as starred in the movie “Sounder”). For the Trekkies out there, Winfield played the doomed captain in “Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan” (Chekov’s superior officer, whose ear and brain were mangled by Khan’s parasite) and the classic episode “Darmok” in “Star Trek: the Next Generation” (the episode where Patrick Stewart’s Picard meets Winfield’s alien captain who spoke in metaphor – a fascinating episode about language which always confused me but I enjoyed because it was so well acted). Winfield had also been incredibly memorable as a judge who was frustrated with the school integration/busing issues in “Picket Fences.” He has quite a legacy.
And, on a final note for the night, sadly, the news in Spain – March 11, 2004: no matter who is responsible for the tragedy, it is still a tragedy. This is our world today and it is too reminiscent of what we have seen almost three years ago in this country.
SSW got me thinking. Over the last three months, I’ve had a new found appreciation for barrier free architecture. I dragged my father up the stairs this evening in a wheelchair. Today was a particularly bad day, but we “borrowed” the chair from the clinic he was at because he was so weak. The brownstone my parents rent is beautiful but incredibly unfriendly — pulling 200 lbs of person and chair up two flights of steps isn’t really ideal, albeit better than trying to piggyback 150 lbs.
In the next two months, my brother is planning to swap his more access friendly apartment with my parents. That apartment has an elevator, and the back buzzer door provides a ramped entrance. Let’s see how that goes.
Some matters:
My undergraduate school’s alumni e-mail listserv sent out the word that the Asian American Writers’ Workshop is having a book sale until March 12, 2004 (free shipping for purchases over $25.00); the group has had to cut back its programs due to funding problems and independent bookstores are having problems generally, AAWW being no exception. According to the message I got:
“‘The Workshop is not moving, we’re not closed… we are struggling under the same pressure of competition and increased costs. If you want to hear the whole story straight from our Executive Director Quang Bao on WBAI radio, you can visit http://www.asiapacificforum.org/ (click on archive section.)
“‘So many of you offered to help the Workshop, and here’s your chance:
“‘PLEASE BUY A BOOK!
“‘We’re running a 5-10-15-20 dollar sale online, with free shipping on orders over $25. Scroll through a wonderful selection of 50 contemporary Asian American books, including children’s literature.’”
Check out the website at http://www.aaww.org/ – the selection looks good and decently priced. Now all I have to do is decide what to buy and read (I was in a good mood at work, until I got irritated by the public my workplace serves; it happens frequently when you’re in the public interest/public service sector; so I need some interesting reading material to make me feel better). (Anyone else interested should do so too!)
Apparently, AAWW will also have an event on April 15 for “Charlie Chan Is Dead 2,” edited by Jessica Hagedorn. (The Asian American Writers’ Workshop, 16 West 32nd Street, Suite 10A, New York NY 10001-3814). Show your support, if you can do it and are in the neighborhood of NYC. (Pardon my using this blog entry as a soapbox; I just thought supporting AAWW seemed like a good cause; back to the usually scheduled odd thought or such).
I was sort of watching “Nightline,” and the topic was about how whether Kerry can show he’s a real patriot/military leader since being a veteran doesn’t mean too much these days (or, maybe it does in the circumstances; it’s still debatable). Ted Koppel’s invited political analysts mentioned the line (which I’ve heard before) that the Democratic party is seen as the “Mommy” party, because it takes care of people — while the Republican party is the “Daddy” party, because it protects people (particularly since George W. Bush is the incumbent leader in a middle of the war against terrorism).
Now, part of me feels that is such a ridiculous characterization of the political parties; have we forgotten that Democrats were the ones who led this country in two world wars, and two Democrats in particular were the ones who led us to victory in the last so-called good war (Franklin D. Roosevelt and Harry S. Truman). During that same time period, the Republicans were much more insular and less on global interaction (and sometimes still are; and sometimes some Democrats are the ones against globalism, particularly when free trade means exporting jobs out of America and bothers the Democratic union base). And, apparently, because Democrats were also the ones who led us into the quagmire that was the Vietnam War (and the Korean War, the forgotten one) and a number of Democrats have been primarily the ones against wars generally since then, the Democratic party is often seen as the anti-war party (if not the unpatriotic/weak party; kind of like the nerdy kid who willingly lets himself get beaten up in the schoolyard because he doesn’t want to fight back because he’s a coward or is non-violent in principle).
Now, considering the contradiction of how to characterize the Democratic party and the historical track of both parties, I so disagree with the idea of simply calling the parties “Mommy” and “Daddy” – that just trivializes both parties.
Another thought – there are many times I think that I should have taken mediation or negotiations or other skills course in law school; then there are times I realize the real teacher of such things is experience. I’m grateful for having been in a clinic in law school; but then again, I still don’t feel that I came out of it with enough preparation in dealing with the difficult complainants/clients (or maybe there is no way to prepare for that). Eh. So it goes in the life of a so-called public sector/public interest attorney. Feel free to make comments, as usual.
What did I learn about San Francisco? It isn’t really a big city — P– and I hit virtually all of the neighborhoods (with the notable exception of Embarcadero/Financial District) on a 3 day $15 Muni pass. That included a half day at Alcatraz and walking over the Golden Gate Bridge at sunset. The free tourist map has a convenient checklist of tourist things to do — there were like only 15 things on the list, and we actually did most of them without even looking at the list. If you are going just to see sights, you can max out the place pretty easily. But that’s really not what the city is about.
San Francisco is an expensive city. It’s even more expensive than New York. However, the food is fresher and the seafood is more amazing. Value shopping is key. We paid $5 for sundaes at Ghirardelli Square and felt ripped off for getting only 6 oz of ice cream. However, we paid $26 for the omakase (chef’s selection) at Sushi on North Beach, and we got a 10 course meal. Gourmet Chinese food was excellent, but wasn’t value for money. However dim sum at Four Seas and Chinese pasteries at Gum Man Bakery (both Grant Avenue institutions) were incredible values. We ditched a $65 Napa tour and instead walked to Marin over the Golden Gate Bridge for $zero (not counting the transit pass). We bought wines at Safeway (10% off for a six-pack, and I joined their shopper’s club to get 2 for 1 discounts — we picked up a Modavi Private Reserve Merlot 2001 that YC and I saw being made the last time I was there — it took about 30 minutes of breathing, but afterwards, it was a fantastic wine) and chocolates at Walgreens ($2-5 cheaper than at the company store) and saved a bundle. We picked up Beach Blanket Babylon tickets for half price at the Tix Bay Area booth at Union Square, which when we told Bob the consierge gave us a totally dumbfounded look — apparently it was as if we got half price tickets to The Producers or something.
Sometimes, though, you just have to do things regardless of cost. You’re going to go to Alcatraz at least once for $15. Staying near Union Square was such a convenience it didn’t matter that it was $95 a night. Buying Girl Scout cookies from cute Japanese brownies will make you cough up $3.50. I’ve taken a new fondness for Red Bull (we snagged a 6 pack from the film festival after-party as they were a sponsor — it’s the perfect jet lag solution).
SF can be a lonely city, especially when we couldn’t get into Cafe du Nord (maxed out their capacity), and ended up missing the last tram back to downtown (froze our butts out on the median for 45 minutes for the next bus). Or when we got up for a Sunday morning flight and the BART wasn’t running and had to blow $35 for a cab. It can be a lonely city when you’re in a crowded theater and don’t know exactly how you got there, or why you eating Bento boxes in the middle of such a national landmark. There are many sidewalks where you are the solitary pedestrians, even when the street is busy. However, it encourages people to cling, especially since rents are so high that people have 4 or 5 roommates.
I made my quota of bumping into people I know unexpectedly. Risa I know from the film festival in New York and NYU. She’s such an over-achiever! MinJung is more funny, more sincere, more huggable in person than even on her website (maybe it was the liquor talking).
Of course the biggest thing that I learned was how great a travelling companion P– is. She’s good at getting the trains running on time, figuring what the hell happened to my cap or my cell phone for the 30th time, or making command decisions on cabs or public transport. Her Chinese is a gazillion times better than mine, so she bails me out when the need arises. She can make her entire wardrobe, six bottles of wine, a box of Chinese pasteries and more fit into a small red pullman, smaller than mine. She’s incredibly comforting when you’re in the middle of nowhere. And of course, that huge travel pillow that she carried, which we named “pseudo-Shelly” in honor of her sister’s beagle.
At one point I had thought about living there, though I don’t see how I would anymore. Nevertheless, I do share the intense joy for the city that Beach Blanket Babylon emits, and we intend to make the SF Asian American Film Festival a regular pilgrimage. Just stay away from the chocolate!
So I’m back in Taipei again…. just arrived this evening. SO that means more consistent blogging. Malaysia has infrastructure issues which make being on-line quite difficult. Even many of their internet cafe’s can be really iffy. Only going to the well-developed areas and areas where there are many foreigners can you be guaranteed reliable internet access.
It was sorta weird getting on that flight heading back — to SFO eventually. Mixed bag of feelings… unfinished business but also new opportunities await. Will be missing B- a whole lot but I think this time, our separation will be shorter. Having successfully gotten her I-130 approved Monday we relaxed at the Pan Pacific Hotel, Kuala Lumpur. Now, it’s getting some affidavits signed, submitted and waiting for an interview date. Hopefully all will be completed in 10 weeks time. I mixed in some networking and work too as it just so happened that PMI-Malaysia was having their conference on “Managing for Success” which I attended and met some good people. This was the first time since 1994 that I’ve been away from the US for such a long time and made me realize again that America is not the center of the universe and that we all need to expand our horizons and challenge our biases. At the same point, despite all the stuff happening in the world, American professionals are still viewed respectfully and even highly desired. All in all, the trip was really great for so many reasons.
It was also great because of all the good food I had there. Before I left for my trip I worked for 3 months go lose 15lbs. This was a landmark event considering that in some 12+ yrs I’d never lost weight. It was just in time too for photoshoot and the wedding pics turned out great. B- and I opted for more of the traditional scenes and costumes. The only chinese costume we did was the Shanghai style which turned out well despite their suit being 1-2 sizes too small for me. Let me tell you, that photo shoot was really hard to do, from 9am to 6pm with a one hour lunch break. And I had the easy part! We did 6 costumes and the time spent to make up B- probably took 1/3 of the time. We ended up choosing 22 pics + 2 family pics of B-‘s family and me. The big bonus was getting the negatives for us to develop more. Most of the wedding photo places nowadays have gone all digital, using the Nikon as the standard. For portraits and such, I think digital is still lacking having seen a few samples. Of course, having an excellent Photoshop expert to clean up the pics is a big part of it. We used France-Taipei, which is one of many wedding photo chains. We should be getting back the pics end of April if not sooner. Our wedding day is August 31st and will be publishing more about it to our friends and family soon.
Long day ahead tomorrow as I begin my first day at Adecco with AJ. Should be fun :-).
=YC